Chapter One
Letting Go to Follow Fully

I used to think that following Jesus was something I could add to my life. Like an upgrade. A supplement. Something I could layer on top of what I was already building. But that’s not how Jesus works.

He doesn’t join our plans, He replaces them.

He doesn’t adjust to our story, He rewrites it.

And the first thing He ever asked me to do was let go.

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

You can’t carry a cross with full hands.

I held on to so much. Approval. Old loyalties. My image. Control. Even some people who I convinced myself were permanent, but were only ever meant to be passing. Some of it looked good. Some of it even looked spiritual. But none of it was surrendered.

I had to learn the difference between pruning and punishment.
God wasn’t trying to hurt me.
He was trying to free me.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18–19)

That sounds beautiful on paper. But when He actually starts cutting things off your life, people, habits, opportunities, false identities, it doesn’t feel like freedom at first. It feels like loss.

But I’m beginning to understand something:
What God removes, He never intended to define me.
And what He asks me to let go of, He plans to replace with something rooted in truth.

Letting go isn’t weakness. It’s worship.
It’s saying, “God, I trust Your hands more than I trust what I’m holding.”

There were friendships I clung to out of loyalty.
Places I returned to out of nostalgia.
Dreams I kept alive out of fear of failure.
Patterns I repeated because they felt like home.

But Jesus said, “Follow Me.” And He didn’t turn around to see if I was coming. He just kept walking.

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (Amos 3:3)

If I want to walk with Jesus, I have to agree with Him.

That means choosing His will over mine.
Choosing obedience over opinion.
Choosing forward over familiar.

There’s no such thing as following Jesus and staying the same. He doesn’t walk in circles. He moves forward. And if I want to stay close to Him, I have to move too.

Some days that movement feels like progress.
Other days it feels like dying.
But either way, it’s following.

And I’m not called to understand every step. I’m called to trust the One I’m stepping with.

So today I remind myself:
I’m not letting go because I’m bitter.
I’m letting go because I’m becoming.

If you’re reading this and feel that sting, the ache of letting go, know this: you’re not alone. I feel it too. Sometimes it feels like losing everything. But really, it’s finding freedom.

You don’t have to carry it all. You were never meant to.

And if you’re afraid to let go of something, ask yourself honestly: Has it brought you closer to Jesus, or further away?

He doesn’t remove what’s meant to stay.
He only asks us to release what holds us back.

Father,

You know what I’ve been clinging to.
The people, places, habits, and ideas I’ve called “mine.”
But they’re not mine.
Not if they stand between You and me.

Give me the strength to lay them down.
Teach me to trust Your pruning.
Help me follow Jesus fully, not partially.
Even when it hurts. Even when I don’t understand.

Let the cross I carry not be a burden,
but a sign of surrender.
A symbol that I’ve let go of my way
to follow Yours.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.